RESURRECTION!

I'm bringing back this blog. I have a lot of shit to say. This is a good place. 

My mom is REALLY sick right now. She has COPD in a bad way. We've taken her in to our house because honestly, at this point, it's the best place for her other than a hospital. And they aren't keeping her there. She WAS at my sister's house but here's where it gets real shitty. 

My step-dad and my sister treat my mom like shit. She's fucking dying and they treat her horribly. They have absolutely no patience with her. My sister expects "please" after every single request my mom has. "Can you get my sweater out that drawer?" (which is too low for her to bend over for) My sister: "PLEASE?" Like fuck right off. She's not asking you to KNIT that damn sweater. Also SHE CAN'T DO IT HERSELF. SHE IS YOUR MOTHER. DID YOU SAY PLEASE EVERY TIME YOU WANTED SOMETHING FOR THE LAST 30 YEARS? FUCK NO! Makes me so mad.

And my step-dad is so mean. Yells and swears at her. SHE IS DYING! She is your WIFE. Why are you like this? I know mad is a hat for sad but c'mon. 

All someone wants when they are dying is compassion. Why aren't the two people who are most important to her (other than me and my brother) giving her all the compassion in the world? She should be able to rely on her husband and her only daughter. She can't. She relies on me and my wife. We have nothing but compassion for her. Cherish what time you have left. Make her last days/weeks/months as happy as they can be because this disease is a motherfucker.

My wife and I try so hard. We never complain to her face. She doesn't need that. But we are so tired and the road only gets rougher from here. We must persevere! When all is said and done hopefully her passing will be peaceful and free of resentment. I doubt that will be the case though. I know my step-dad and sister love her but they have a shitty way of showing it. My wife and I on the other hand are racking up karma points like hot-wiring a slot machine. That's not what it's about but that karma will come back around. 

I fear that either before or after she passes we'll have it out with my step-dad and sister and our family will fracture. Things are already fractured on my dad/step-mom side of the family. I just hold my own kids tight and try my hardest to raise them the right way so that they don't have the same problems.

Every day I look around at the world and see just how shitty it is. From one end of the globe to the other. We're just trying to make it less shitty for one very, very important person for whatever time she has left. It's honestly the hardest thing I've ever done.