well the day is almost over

and it wasn't a good one. I got a full nights sleep but that didn't help.
I just felt like nothing. I felt frustrated. I felt sad. I felt helpless. I felt unrespected. I felt distant. I felt disconnected. I felt inadequate. I felt like a failure. I felt worthless.
I try and put on a happy face but it feels so fake, why bother? Why can I not feel joy any more? DD2 made a funny face, I should have laughed but I didn't feel like it. I asked DD1 how here day was at school, but I only asked because I felt like I should. Then I feigned enthusiasm when she said it was good. I just moped around all day. No desire to do anything. I tried doing yard work because I like that but it did nothing. I have really felt adverse to people lately. I don't want to talk to anyone. At least in a small talk sense. After a concert last night, I would usually stuck around for a bit and talked to the bands. But I thought "ah fuck it" and just went home. On the way home, I really felt bad. Maybe it was because one of the things that I get excited about and enjoy doing, did vitrually nothing for me. As I blank-stared my way home, I felt on the verge of tears. Like at a funeral with you are good until someone says anything to you. Luckily, I kinda got over it by the time I got home. Although, I haven't felt any better since. Let's hope that whatever the solution to this mess is, it works fast.

Btw, it took me long enought to write this that the day ended over an hour ago.