Well those were two days I'd like to take back

yeah, Thursday sucked. I was overtired and in a crank ass mood all day. I was tired and sore  and I took it out on others. I did feel better once I got the dishes done, some laundry folded and a tea in me. I think I was a little stressed and I needed to get some stuff done to take the load off. Great, here we go again with the "so much to do!! stress me out!!" I am really gonna have to work on that.

Friday wasn't much better. it was and it wasn't. morning was good. 12-130pm not good. ALL my fault. I thought that the girls would entertain each other for a while but I was wrong. All they wanted was my attention but I was too wrapped up in my stupid pool. I'll have to make it up to them. I know how I will with DD1. There is a craft she is DYING to do with me when DD2 is sleeping. I'll have to do that next week.

Bear in mind, and I am sensing a pattern here, that I ran out of Breathe Right strips. The 2 days following a night without them and I was cranky. Hmmmm. I've been very diligent with my fibre, no coffee. The strips is the only thing that has changed.

Need to start exercising too. As much as it would suck, maybe I have to start setting an alarm on my days off and going for a run or a bike ride. I remember how good i felt back when I did exercise. and how i encouraged DW to aswell, becuase it felt good. Besides, the dog could use the odd run too!

 

Thurs Mar 26

Mon-Tues. Day shifts. Tired. Expected. Headaches.
Wednesday. Not bad. Painted all day. Tired. Not cranky. Headaches.
Thursday. Up with DD2 til 1am. Slept on couch very painfully(when I woke up) til 315am. Up with DD1 at 730 or something like that. Tired and cranky. Yes. Legs sore. back sore.ankles sore. No headaches. Not a good day.

As Expected

Friday was a write-off. I only expected to sleep til 10 but Becky let me go til 11. Thanks. Then I had to take DD2 up the hospital. We were there for over 3.5 hours for a pill and some juice. I finished a book and laid with her so I wasn't wearing myself out any more. I had a coffee after I picked up DD1 and that didn't help at all. But I was in bed by 10 and slept (almost straight) til 730.

so saturday was better. I only raised my voice once. ANd that was literally seconds after I woke up from my nap so I was a bit grumpo. I didn't feel irritable all day. Saturday was good.

now, SUnday, I might not get enough sleep after my night shift so we'll see how it goes.

Not lookin' good

DD2 is sick again so that means DW and I will be tired. She was up with her 3 times last night so she didn't get good sleep. Then DD2 was sick all day. I was up around 215pm after 5 hours sleep or so. I hope DD2 is sleeping through tonight. Neither of us will get any sleep tomorrow (I might get a little) so I hope one of us at least is sleeping.

If it's any consolation, DD2 is easier to deal with on little to no sleep than DD1. If she is still sick, she won't be too active. Well, her mood doesn't suffer unless she is REALLY sick. Still, she is easier. I may have to still get things for her but I don't mind so much because I know she can't get them for herself.

At least tonight I am at my secondary job at work which is much less physical. I might even be able to take a nap later. If I was at my other function, I would nap too but it would be little 20 minute naps. I'm talkin' I might be able to have like an hour nap. or more.

I can't chalk up any feeling I have tonight or tomorrow to anything other than exhaustion. I will have every reason to be feeling tired.

That's what most of this blog is about. Whether or not I have a "right" to be tired. If I have a perfectly normal reason (up all night) or not. It's when I have had a normal night's sleep and all that, and then I am still a cranky SOB, that I need to identify. I have noticed that lately, that scenario has become less common. No coffee (Gonna try one tonight under the circumstances), very little pop, almost regular fibre intake, 2 teas a day, and no alcohol. I quit the alcohol first and I was still tired and irritable (maybe a little more so). I think since the no coffee, little pop, fibre and nasal strips  I have been feeling better. Sunday night I got us a bottle of pop. Diet, caffeine free. But I had a bad Monday. I had some pop monday too. Hmmm....Maybe there is something to this no pop thing.

I have been feeling a real urge to get outside this week. Spring sucks. I hate how dirty and sick everything is once all the snow is gone. Yeah, green coming back is nice, but it's the in between stage that sucks. Maybe I do have a bit of winter blues. I know I have the "outside happys".

Snack time!!

Tues-wed March 17-18

The rest of Tuesday wasn't so bad. I didn't really feel that tired. At
least not any more than I should have. We tried to watch Rachel Getting
Married but we started it too late and when the DVD started screwing up due
to a fingerprint we just went to bed. Any crankiness was brought on by
frustration and not just snapping.
Wednesday was good. No uneccessary grumpiness. I had a nap before work but
it was because I should, not because I was wicked tired.
I am really tired right now but that's because it's 345am. I will be tired
on Friday. And Sunday. I'll be stressed on Saturday because there will be
lots of people around. I'll take some drugs in the morning. hahah

Rah!

The weekend was a write off. It doesn't count. Up at 530 every morning and working for 12 hours. I am supposed to be tired.
Monday I was in a rough mood. I had zero patience. I was irritated by everything. Not a good day.
Today isn't much better. I had better control this morning and I am not as irritated. Well, not irritated at all really, just frustrated. Maybe I set my expectations too high.
My throat doesn't hurt anymore so I can get some screaming done if I need to without hurting myself.

Kinda down

The day after a night shift is never easy. I was a bit cranky this evening. I may have raised my voice a little much. I think the girls are still feeling last night's full moon.
The reason I am kinda down is my wife's uncle died today. I may have met him once and my wife was never really close with him, but it's still her uncle. She is with her parents right now. I think her dad needs her to be there.

Mondays suck

well, Monday actually wasn't too bad. I still wasn't very anxious to get up, but that come with the territory. DW's alarm woke me up at 745. Not bad. I wore my nasal strip correctly. I didn't feel run down all day. I had some Shreddies and All-Bran for lunch, so I am back on routine for that. I had about a can worth of Diet Pepsi in the morning. I slept for about an hour in the afternoon. It's 345am now and I feel pretty good. I had a tea at 12 and a tea at 230. and Lots of water.

I think part of the reason I was tired all weekend was the fact that we got some pop again. The more I think about it, I was feeling good when we weren't drinking pop. Even though it was diet. I don't really crave it anymore. I think I associate it with whiskey now and I am NOT going down that road again. I am cool with OJ, V8, milk, tea and water. And when I am done my self-induced 90 day alcohol rehab, the occasional beer. I am very pleased with the choices I have made in the last few weeks and I am very confident that I can continue down the path I want to be on. I am at a place now that I feel my will power is at it's highest level ever. Most days over the few weeks, I haven't even thought about alcohol, coffee, pop or cigarettes.

One more step on the road to a better me.

Stupid time change

Sunday was pretty rough. We had friends over Saturday night (I may have already said that) so DW and I were up late, and even later after they left (wink wink). Then we lost an hour of sleep due to the time change. What a crock. Just leave the damn time the same all year. The DDs don't give a shit about the time change and get up whenever. But they did sleep in a little. Thank goodness. I was playing drag-ass all morning and into the afternoon. We took the girls to the park and I felt pretty good there. Then we went for icecream and I crashed. It wasn't a sugar high crash either. I crashed before we got there. Then for the rest of the day, I felt like SHIT. My throat was sore, I was losing my voice. I felt like I had a fever (I didn't) I had no energy and I was achy. I felt like I was coming down with the flu again. I fell asleep on the couch about 1030ish and then woke myself up snoring. hahah I got thinking about it Monday and I realized that I hadn't had my fibre load on Friday, or Saturday or Sunday and I was beat all weekend. I don't think I had my nasal strip on right Sat night either.

Playing Catch-up

Thursday night was hell. DD2 has me up til 215ish (up for 22 hrs and worked 12 of them) and my wife up til 3. Then DD1 got up at 730 as usual. Needless to say, Friday was rough. I had an appt at 10 and I had a moment of weakness and grabbed a coffee on the way. Mistake. Not only did it fail to give me any sort of boost, it didn't taste that good and I felt like crap the rest of the day. I can't really blame the coffee entirely. I did have a really hard night.
Friday night we let DD2 stay up until she dropped. Which she did about 10. On the floor in the living room. We propped a pillow under her and put a blanket on and finished watching our movie. I took her up to bed about 1130 and she slept til DD1 got up. We did the same trick last night but she didn't drop. DW finally took her up to bed at 11 and she screamed for 20 mins and then fell asleep. She got up at about 930 this morning.
I'm still dog tired though because we had company over and we were up until 1 or so and then the time change messed with us.
We'll see how the day goes.

Not gonna be a good day

I didn't get to bed last night til at least 1130. after DD2 was up from 10-11 (as per usual).then she was up again at 430. so I was up for the day at that point. So was DW. so we are both tired today. I don;t think I had my nasal strip on right either. I have been feeling good since I started wearing them and I tried it in a different position last night.

My computer is broken. Probably just the power supply but still, I don't need the problems. If it's fried, like dead fried, I will not be a happy camper.

My machine hates me today.

 

 

A little tired

but it is 315 (Siesta time) and I didn't really get a break last break time
so I have been on my feet since 11.
Hopefully some popcorn and a tea will perk me up a bit. My food choices
earlier in the day were a little sugar heavy so I don't think that helped
at all.

The Goal

The goal of this blog is to track how I am feeling and track what I am doing on my road to being a better and healthier person. I'll be talking about stuff such as if I am tired or not, how I control my emotions, how I slept etc.

So, yesterday I wasn't tired at all as far as I can recall. I did lose my temper putting the girls to bed but that wasn't due to being tired. That was due to DD1 not listening and just being a thorn in my side. Come to think of it, DD2 wasn't much better.
Rather than the usual 30 seconds to fall asleep, it took over 20 minutes. I was out of it but not asleep. Until DD2 got up shortly after midnight. I wonder what time DW came back to bed. I didn't look at the clock.
Maybe the nasal strips are working? maybe it's the increased fibre? Whatever it is,I felt good yesterday.
We'll see how today goes!!